In case you are wondering, "D" is my husband -- Dave Liu! As you've probably noticed, I don't update this blog often but I may post more as I've linked this to my Google+ account.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

New Words for the Workplace

The last time I posted was not days, weeks, but MONTHS ago. I have a lot of catching up to do. I'll start with something that Ingo sent me:

  • Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
  • Seagull Manager: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
  • Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
  • Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
  • Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
  • Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
  • Crop Dusting: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm and then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust.
  • Mouse Potato: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
  • Sitcoms: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
  • Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
  • Swipeout: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
  • Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
  • Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
  • Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake

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