Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday, May 28, 2006. To celebrate growing older, Regina once wrote the 45 lessons life taught her. She turned 50 in 2007 and re-posted it with an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

How to Stay Young

• Try everything twice. On Madam's (of Whelan's and Madam) tombstone she wanted this epitaph: "Tried everything twice...loved it both times!"
• Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches).
• Keep learning. Learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
• Enjoy the simple things. Ice cream, good movies, chocolate, more ice cream, more chocolate...
• Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with that person.
• The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with you your entire life is you. Lost time can never be found. LIVE while you are alive.
• Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
• Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
• Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, or a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
• Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity. I love you, my special friend.
• Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
• Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Quote of the Day

For fun...

On mullets, it's always "Business in the front, PARTY in the REAR!"

On a more serious note...

An old saying by Confucious, "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."

What Love Means to Age 4 to 6 Year Old Chidlren

What Does "Love" Mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

• "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." -- Rebecca, age 8
• "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." -- Billy, age 4
• "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." -- Karl, age 5
• "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." -- Chrissy, age 6
• "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." -- Terri, age 4
• "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." == Danny, age 7>
• "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." -- Emily, age 8
• "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." -- Bobby, age 7
• "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." -- Nikka, age 6
• "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." -- Noelle, age 7
• "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." -- Tommy, age 6
• "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." -- Cindy, age 8
• "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." -- Clare, age 6
• "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." -- Elaine, age 5
• "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." -- Chris, age 7
• "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." -- Mary Ann, age 4
• "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." -- Lauren, age 4
• "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." -- Karen, age 7<,/li>
• "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." -- Mark, age 6
• "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." -- Jessica, age 8
• Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."