In case you are wondering, "D" is my husband -- Dave Liu! As you've probably noticed, I don't update this blog often but I may post more as I've linked this to my Google+ account.

Friday, August 29, 2003

And They Lived Happily Ever After...

A recently received email:

Hello Lauren and Dave,
I have been out of touch for a while and just wanted to say hello and see how you both are doing. As you may have heard from Henry and Linda, Frank and I unfortunately got a divorce which took a lot of my time and energy over the last few months. On a more positive note, our split was very amicable and drama free, so we continue to be friends...

Say, WHAT? D & I attended Frank and Jodie's wedding a few years ago. They bought a house last year, and we attended one of their dinner parties in January. As far as we could tell, they were happy together. They laughed a lot and loved each other very much. Or did they? What could have changed between this couple? Not too long ago, these two stood up in front of their family and friends to declare eternal love for each other, through sickness and health, for richer and poorer, till death do they part... Well, both parties are still alive, but they want to lead separate lives.

Call me a cynic, but even before I received this email, at every wedding I attended I would think, "I wonder if this one's going to last?" Statistically, one out of every two marriages end in divorce. D & I have been to dozens of weddings since we met up again in 1998, and so far, two couples have decided to get a divorce. This is the first. We're behind the curve.

I thought I was a good judge of relationships. I thought I could tell which ones would endure, and which ones were not meant to be. But that's not true, and I'm forced to question everything I've ever believed in regarding love.

D is even more practical than I am when it comes to love and marriage. He doesn't think any particular couple is necessarily made for each other. He says that all relationships require work. He's right. It's romantic to say, "I'll love you forever", but that's a total crock. For Frank and Jodie, forever didn't even last a decade. Sometimes, for whatever reason, things just don't work out, so how can I promise eternity? What I can promise, however, is to always try my very best to love D. Although my efforts can not guarantee eternal love, I can guarantee that any lack of effort would prevent it.

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